Body Appreciation Application
Practical applications of Body Acceptance
I often have clients that come to therapy with the goal of learning to love their body. Cool cool, I respect that goal. But often times, I see that this goal is something that people feel they “should” be aiming for. Because when you hate your body and are miserable, learning to love your body feels like a path to being less miserable. Seems legit, right?
But let me tell you something. Body love and body hate are two sides of the same coin. Both still connect strong emotional feelings to your body and are often rooted in how your body looks. Love can only get you so far though. When your goal is body love, you learn to love your body but is that love conditional? What happens when your body changes? Because that’s what bodies do, they change.
Okay, so not ‘body love.’ What should we shoot for, Erin?
What a wonderful question! What if instead of body love, we have the goal was body acceptance? Rather than having an emotionally fueled relationship with your body that has to be one way (love) or another (hate), what if that relationship was one of compassion and had room for the good and the bad?
I get it. Right now, you are probably saying “Hey Erin, that sounds good and all, but what does that even look like?” Great question!
How body acceptance looks in real life
Think about it like this: have you ever thought about the color of your eyes? My eye color can appear different depending on what I am wearing. But, I can’t recall a time when I thought to myself “my eyes feel really hazel today.” Or, “today is a bad eye color day because they feel browner.” Something like eye color doesn’t cross our mind often because we accept the color that they are. And even if you aren’t super crazy about the color of your eyes, I’m going to guess that those thoughts do not change how you feel on any given day. And sure, sometimes we may choose a color of eye makeup to make that color pop, but we aren’t fighting ourselves or using negative self-talk because of how our eyes “feel” that day.
So how does that translate to body acceptance?
Again, what a great question! On any given day, you are going to feel different ways about your body because body image consists of more than just what it looks like. It includes aches and pains. This also includes feeling weak or sick. And sometimes, how our body performs. That’s hard to avoid. But just like with our eyes, accepting our body means not letting what it looks or feels like on any given day have so much power over us that it can make or break our day. In the same way that I don’t consider the color of my eyes as I move through my day, getting to a place of body acceptance means that I can similarly move through my day without considering my body image. Imagine looking in the mirror just to see what your outfit looks like and to make sure your hair isn’t all frizzed up. And, having that experience NOT bring up emotions and critical self-talk.
Practical application, please
Unsure what this actually looks like in real life then? Here are some other examples…
Seeing a friend after a long time apart and just being excited to see them. It is so easy in these situations to get wrapped up in if they are going to think this or that about our body or to walk away comparing ourselves to them. Your friend is not friends with you because of the way your body looks and is probably just excited to get to spend time with you again (ugh, thanks a lot COVID). Instead of falling into those traps, body acceptance is telling our negative body image thoughts to kindly social distance themselves and let you enjoy your night without their intrusion.
Seeing a doctor who comments on your BMI or suggests weight loss. Pre-body acceptance can be super distressing and can be a gateway right back on that diet train. With body acceptance though, this may look more like you walking out of that office and staying the course. It could mean questioning doctors or educating them on HAES. Or it could look like asking your treatment team for HAES-friendly doctors because you know you deserve weight-neutral treatment.
Going shopping for new jeans. Before body acceptance, this is a nightmare. Jeans from brand to brand or even from one cut to another can fit so differently. When the size you expect to fit actually doesn’t, it can ruin your day. Jeans can be so unforgiving. But with body acceptance, jeans not fitting becomes just another experience...neither good nor bad. When it is seen like this, it’s much easier to go grab a different size without the emotional attachment to the number on the tag.
Going to a yoga class/gym. I get it...the fitness industry is full of diet language, cleanses, and trainers promoting weight loss. It’s hard to not feel inundated with “perfect” bodies. Hell, once I even had a trainer offer to meet me at the grocery store to “learn to make good choices.” Seriously, wtf?! (That’s a story for another day) When body shame is driving, this can result in avoiding these places altogether despite the desire to go, comparing your body to others while there, or using self-defeating language. Going to the gym or a yoga class can feel like punishment (because you have to work off that cake!) or solely motivated by the desire to lose weight. Body acceptance can look very different. Imagine going to the gym or a yoga class because you enjoy it. Moving your body because it feels good. Or choosing not to without shame or guilt. It’s listening to our body and not letting what our body looks like and the feelings we have around it dictate what we let ourselves do.
Being outside during a midwestern summer. If you live here in STL, you know the kind of hot humidity I’m talking about here...when the air feels thick and almost oppressive. I don’t know about you, but I cannot imagine being outside in anything more than shorts and a tank top. Body acceptance means wearing clothes that make us feel comfortable and are not influenced by wanting to cover up my arms, thighs, or super white legs.
Noticing a trend? Body acceptance leaves room to live your life. It’s making choices that are best for you and not letting your feelings about your body take the reigns. Wondering how you get there? I’ll get into that more next week!
I’m pretty cool, you should work with me!
So, I hope you like what you read! In addition to writing great blogs, I offer counseling to help you with all of your things. Right now, I’m offering online therapy in Missouri and online therapy in Wisconsin, since my St. Louis based counseling clinic is closed. I offer eating disorder treatment. I offer counseling for anorexia, binge eating, and atypical anorexia. I also offer services for folks struggling with body image, compulsive exercise, maladaptive perfectionism, and eating disorder treatment for men. Additionally, I often work with athletes. When you’re ready to get started working with me, follow these steps:
Contact Embodied Self Counseling for a 20-minute consultation
Meet with me!
Handle your stuff.
Other Therapy Services at Embodied Self Counseling
Body appreciation can be a vague term. That’s why I strive to make it practical. I offer all kinds of therapy services at Embodied Self Counseling’s St. Louis office that may support you. If you need additional support, I offer online therapy in Missouri and online therapy in Wisconsin to accommodate your busy schedule. If you have "stuff with food" that others don't get, you could be a good fit for my eating disorder treatment. Additionally, I provide a unique approach to working with atypical anorexia and perfectionism. I offer eating disorder treatment for men too. Additionally, I offer Counseling for Compulsive Exercise, I am skilled with working with athletes and providing Counseling for Athletes. Plus, I provide Eating Disorder Treatment for Men. Call now and get the support you have been seeking.